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  • Writer's picturecocodensmore

You Complete Me

This is about the stupidest thing anyone has ever said. You can complement someone, you can contribute to their lives in ways that make them better people, but you can’t make them whole. You can’t change people. Lasting change comes only from within.

If your partner is trying to lose weight for you, he might lose the weight, but unless there’s a transformation inside of him, he won’t keep it off. You may decide to accept him as he is, or you may walk away because you’re not sexually attracted to him.

If your partner is bipolar, and in a manic state she gambles away her rent and then asks you for help, you may choose to help or you may choose to walk away. If you stay, you can encourage her to see a psychiatrist, get on meds, and go to counseling, but you can’t make her do those things. Mental illness is a chronic disease that can be managed but never cured. Only you can decide if that’s something you’re willing to live with.

You decide what things about your partner you will embrace, what things you will accept, and what things you will simply not tolerate. You decide the point at which things become intolerable and then you make the choice to stay or leave.

If you stay, always remember you’re choosing to stay. You have the option to walk at any point in time. You have control over the amount of time and effort you’re willing to invest in another person. Stop whining like a victim and remember that. You are in control of your life.

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