The Vagina Rules
During one of my routine random Googling sessions, I found this article. There is no author attribution. There is no indication I can find anywhere of who wrote it or where it is even from. Was it a class project? A love letter? Simply some random ramblings? Regardless, it is pure literary genius with a timeless message.
Whoever the author is, I think I love him.
People think men rule the world, but in abstract, it's women who rule the world. Think about it for a second, why do men try so hard? to get women. Why do men become rockstars? to get women. Why do men study 12 years after college to become plastic surgeons? to get women. Why any man would do any of things he ever did past the age of 15? PUSSY. It's not money, money is a means to pussy itself. It's not fame or success. Those are the tools men use to show off and get pussy.
So who rules the world? Is it men? No. Men are basically animals. Yeah, we do have brains but are we defined by our brains? No. We are defined by the size of our penises. That is why China has the most brutal government. Someone has a small wee wee over there. So, even if it is true than men rule the world, bear in mind that they only did what they did to get pussy. So if women weren't there, none of this would've happened. If science is progressing, it's not because of man's need to know. It's because of man's need to let other people, namely girls, know he knows. Men want to invent shit so they can brag about it to women.
Now, Imagine the world without women for one second. All I can see is chaos... People sleeping in boxes, no one takes a shower cuz they don't care anymore. No one would do anything anymore. You think those young male scientists working in CERN would go back to work tomorrow if we killed all women today? No. Do you think anyone would care who created us or what thoughts are made of if there were no women around?
"Behind every great man, there's a great woman rolling her eyes."
-Bruce "Almighty" Nolan
So you see, men are nothing. Women on the other hand... why would a woman study for ages and work hard and go through shit to become a successful scientist and work in CERN when she can easily have a much more convenient life just basically being a jewish guy's hot wife? EXACTLY. This is something we men can never understand. 'Cuz we are not evolved enough. We like women, women like themselves... now there's a human. You know why women are statistically more successful than men? 'cuz they don't do it to get laid. They do it for themselves. Good for them.
But the truth is, generalization, which is what I did throughout my note, is bad. There are men who are past the dick size insecurity and there are women who are just plain evil or useless. They don't deserve to be congratulated on this day. But there are a chosen few who deserve a lot more than a day every year. so to those women I say Happy women's day.
Dear good women of the world Thanks for being so hot, otherwise, what would I look at when I'm on the bus? Thanks for being smart and for having high standards cuz if you weren't into buff guys and sick cars no man would work out or buy a sick car. Thanks for flirting with us and making us feel confident, giving us the boost we need to get through the day. Thanks for giving me motivation to live and become a rockstar. Thanks for motivating billions of men to go to work everyday and thus keep the world intact. Thanks for being materialistic and emotional 'cuz those two things keep the economy going. Thanks for having values 'cuz we have none and thank you specially for never settling for anything, thus accelerating our evolution. Thanks for never being content even if you are on the top of the world, You challenge the limits. Thanks for frowning on us whenever we are being uncivilized. Thanks for all the times one of you walked into a room and stopped all the men in that room from doing whatever animalistic misdeeds they were up to just to impress you. Thanks for frowning on us when we smell bad, 'cuz honestly we don't care. Thanks for being unpredictable, 'cuz that way you force us to try and be perfect in every way. Thanks for making the world a place to live in, and tomorrow a day to look forward to.
p.s: I don't say all this to get in good with women (although an occasional blowjob would be nice). I sincerely think this is the truth. It is my theory that the next step of evolution would be from man to woman... fuck mankind, forget humankind, welcome to womankind. There is no god and if there is, it's obvious he doesn't give a rat's ass about us. There are, however, roughly 1 billion Goddesses dwelling the earth, giving us hope and a reason to live. Worship them!