Start to Finish
August 20, 2017 Journal Entry
I saw Jeff earlier this week. It is so wonderful, more wonderful than I can express. When he’s gone, I try to remember everything, but my memory is so bad. After he leaves I try to recount every moment, the look on his face, how I felt, what he said, how he felt. But I can only remember little bits. I remember being really happy. And I remember him being happy too.
We had a little more time this time. But start to finish, when I looked at the time going down in the elevator to when he left, was just a few minutes short of a hour. There’s never any time after, just what I conversation I can get in with him while he’s dressing.
He did tell me he suffers from depression as I do, sometimes staying in bed all weekend. He takes meds. I asked what about the kids? He said they just deal with it. I was surprised to hear this. I know of course the man can’t be as perfect as I’ve made him out to be in my mind, but I didn’t imagine he suffered this malady. I always thought when you had kids you didn’t have the privilege or option to be ill. Apparently not the case.
I did ask him if he was pleased, satisfied, if I had made him happy during our time together. He wrote me a poem of sorts. He does not have skills in this area of the language of love. But I’ll take what I can get and his heart is in it. I extend him endless grace. I’ve never loved anyone so much.
You were wonderful in bed.
You satisfied my every need.
You suck my cock to the best of my expectations.
You lick my balls like a champion.
My cock going inside your pussy is like a dog going for a bone.
Your tits are just incredibly large and I love that they’re a mouthful.
Yes you satisfied my every desire.
[Originally published 7/29/2022]