November 11, 2017 Email to Jeff
He’s very self-conscious. Asked me a lot if I liked him. But not in those words. And he said I love you. Fuck. Geez. Then he started saying it all the time. Fuck! Is that how you feel about me telling you constantly I love you when you don’t love me back? Awkward. I was silent.
Maybe you do love be back. Because you never seem to have an issue with me telling you. Perhaps that’s a leap. I don’t know. Sometimes I think you do. Most of the time I just don’t know. It really matters not. Because you’re my best friend. That’s everything to me. Friendship love is the best love. It endures.
It’s not the age thing that won’t make it work. It’s the difference in our backgrounds. He wants me to be his girlfriend and I said OK. I had too. His self-esteem is in the toilet. I know how that feels. I’m there.
I’ll be his girlfriend. I’m tired of dating. I’m not sure what will happen. I hope he loses his interest in me, of course. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s kind and attentive and so smart. Incredibly smart. But he doesn’t believe in himself.
Oh my God Jeff. We all suffer so much in this life. Is it worth it? Does the good outweigh? Why so much suffering? Why?
I’m going to make him get a regular haircut and shave that ridiculous thing he calls a chin strap. But maybe he said chin stripe and I didn’t hear right. He’s adorable. Lacks style.
I love you first, most, best and always,
Coco
Jeff:
I have not read all of the other emails but I tell you this you have a man that loves you for who you are even though you have only met him once although you have talked to him quite a bit you are trying to sabotage this all on your own just because of simple little things
Quit thinking so much and let him love you Jesus Christ
If you want him to shave and get a haircut just say that who cares if he’s already telling you that he loves you that’s a great thing
Photo by Pars Sahin on Unsplash