November 12, 2020
Still consumed with politics, but less angry. More fearful, although that’s not the right word. Apprehensive?
It doesn’t look like Trump will prevail in his attempts to overturn the election, yet his failure to acknowledge this, even remotely, is troubling. He can do a lot of damage between now and January 20th. He’s firing top Department of Defense staff. And he can do a lot of damage after January 20th as well. He’s privy to a great deal of classified information. And he’s demonstrated he’s willing to share that information with foreign governments. He discounted his own intelligence, publicly, while presenting with Putin. He said Putin said Russia wasn’t involved in sabotaging the 2016 election, when we know full well they were.
I’ve been laid off a couple of times in my life. Security walks you out of the building, so you can’t take any proprietary information or sabotage the system. Trump has plenty of time to sabotage. I don’t understand why he wants to get walked out of the White House. It’s a humiliating experience. It makes no sense.
I’m also concerned we are vulnerable to attack by our enemies. And I’m concerned Trump will instigate some sort of military action. I’ve been assured both of those scenarios are unlikely. But just as I’m assured, I watch news segments that tell me it’s a possibility. Anything is possible. It’s been one shock after another.
I’m most angry at my friend with whom I severed contact. I reached out to him, asked him to help me understand and logically frame what is happening.
“None of what he’s been accused of is true. It’s all been debunked,” he said.
“But the rapes, paying off porn stars, the collusion, even the golden showers stuff Russia has on him, that’s all in keeping with his personality,” I argued.
“This isn’t Weimar Germany, Trump isn’t evil, he just has an annoying personality.” He told me comparisons to Hitler are ludicrous. “He won’t fight it. He won’t stay. He’ll go if he loses. It would cost him billions to fight it, and he’s too cheap,” he assured me.
He sent me links to articles stating you can dislike Trump for his personality, for his way of communicating, but if you have an issue with him, it’s your issue. You are to blame for not seeing the whole truth, that Trump has done more good for the country than any other president. I was insulted. I have eyes, I have ears. Trump is a danger to democracy.
My friend’s cavalier and dismissive attitude made me so angry I blocked him on FaceBook. I see his cell is still in my contacts. It’s all I can do not to call him in a panic. It’s all I can do to not call him and say, “I was concerned this would happen and you told me I had nothing to worry about.”
But then, I think somehow, he’d justify Trump’s behavior. Because Trump supporters seem capable of justifying anything. This “boys will be boys” attitude is so pervasive. His supporters believe he’s somehow justified; they’re in on the joke and it’s no big deal. “He’s not a politician, and that’s a good thing,” they say. It’s simply beyond my ability to understand.
My friend is so intelligent. I’ve relied on him so long for so much; productive ways to frame religious dogma, politics, and history. His perspective has been invaluable. Primarily, he’s provided encouragement, support, and validation. He was an excellent friend, for over twenty years. It is incomprehensible I misread him all along. I am devastated.
I guess now, reading this over, apprehensive isn’t the right word. I am angry. Still very angry.