I think, had there been a mutual declaration, the end would have killed me.

Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

April 24, 2018

Jeff,

So I was thinking when I wrote all that stuff about you and me and the basis of the affair being desire and not love, etc. etc., that I’m really really thankful you never told me you loved me. I don’t know if that was hard for you not to say. I don’t want to know! I know you don’t love me. But I do know now you care about me, you respect me and you value me. Those things are far more important in the kind of relationship we had.

I think, had there been a mutual declaration, the end would have killed me. Because like I said in that passage, the only thing love has ever brought me is pain. It’s much better to be practical, to know I met a need in your life, to know I perhaps made you feel a bit better about yourself, about your situation. To know that I was successful at bolstering you up. Those are certainly the things you did for me.

Love,

Coco