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  • Writer's picturecocodensmore

Friends are the undergirding of all that is good in my life.

July 25, 2019

All human interactions result in the birthing of those tiniest of threads between individuals, web like connections that may gain substance and strength over time, or not.

Connecting with people is the most complicated, takes the most courage, and is the most terrifying of endeavors. Everyone has experienced rejection. No one likes it. We are all scarred from it. You must be sure of yourself, clear about who you are, and confident if things don’t work out, you can walk away not feeling totally defeated.

Even if you own those traits, you may think you know what you truly want. But you likely don’t know at all! You may think you do, but you really never know how you’re going to feel until you begin to interact with a person.

There may be chemistry, strong chemistry, but as people reveal their personalities, that chemistry may morph into genuine interest and a much deeper attraction to the person as a whole. In other words, you begin to bond with one another. And isn’t that the magic of it all?! Isn’t that why we keep putting ourselves out there? That’s what keeps me in the game. Seeking those serendipitous connections. It’s magical. No other term for it. And I find them. I find them. And it makes it all worthwhile. Truly.

More often than not, my liaisons turn into sustaining enduring friendships. We are lovers for a time, usually a short time, then we realize we are best as friends. A very good thing.

Lovers come and go, but friends stay.

There are good, good men in the world. And they can be anywhere. Just open your eyes, open your mind, and keep a willing kind heart for people.

I remain single. Why? Quite simply, I haven’t met the right man yet. Not Mr. Right, but Mr. Right for Me. I persist in knowing it will happen. It’s the when. But it doesn’t matter so much when. It matters it will be. Rest assured. It will be.

"I now value deep, calm love as opposed to frenzied, romantic love. Deep love cannot disappear."

- Paul D. Brazill



This is probably the best thing you've written. At least it speaks to me that way. I think that's because it goes beyond "dating" to "relationships" and "the self".

The subject of "friends and lovers" never gets enough attention. And few people ever talk about the two being in one person.

Yet isn't that really what we're all searching for? A lover AND a best friend in the same person?


I could actually do without lovers. That is, lovers with whom I become romantically involved. Lovers disappoint. Every time. At least every time in my life to date.

Friends are true, they stay, they love, they support, they are the undergirding of all that is good in my life. I could do without any other relationships except friendship.

I am honored to count you among my friends.



Photo by Cody Hiscox on Unsplash



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