Epilogue from Take Your Socks Off
I killed the relationship with Jeff on February 13th of 2018. Jeff put the final nails in the coffin the next day. Over the next days and months, I recanted and recanted. I wanted him back desperately. Thankfully, my efforts were futile.
Jeff has not communicated with me since Valentine’s Day, 2018. I thought I would surely die from the loss of him, but I didn't. Here I am. Do I still think the loss of him may destroy me? Yes. Sometimes. But as time passes, the intensity of that pain wanes.
What replaces the pain is a perpetual growing understanding of who I was in that relationship and a clear knowledge of the places where continued personal growth is critical.
I often say I don't regret the affair, because I learned things that I would not have learned under any other circumstances with any other person. And I believe that to be true with my whole heart.
I do regret having interfered with a marriage. I regret that a great deal. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe marriages are worth fighting for. I know innocent people were deeply hurt by my choices.
In spite of it all, all the good and all the bad, I Persevere. And life goes on.
“Because before the time when you’re heartbroken, you get to be in love and that’s worth it.” -Leila Sales
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash