August 17, 2022
Email to Don
Read this. It's really good. It might help you frame up some of the bullshit with your ex. There is no magical deliverance from the pain of lost love.
It's hard to imagine you were ever in love with her. I picture you thinking, "Ok this is what I need to do. And now this is the next thing I need to do. And then after this, I'll do the next thing." I see you as never really having lived for yourself, but going through the motions of living a life according to societal expectations or some misguided notion you had to follow the "typical neurotypical path". And that's tragic.
You get to live for YOU now. And the kids of course. But you get to chart your own course. No one is telling you what to do or how to live. Except me right here right now telling you what to do and how to live 🙂.
I really love you a lot, Don. I've been thinking about it lately. I am self-conscious saying it to you because I am afraid you'll misconstrue, think because I love you that I want to control and possess you. Be with you. Be a couple. Own you.
It's true, the control part is a bit of a problem for me, but I'm working on it.
The rest of it, nope, not at all. Real love means encouraging and supporting your beloved to be their best self and live their best life. With or without you in it.
Anyway.
I decided I'm going to say "I love you" more often, to you and to all my friends. People just don't hear it enough. They just don't.
Love really does transform. And once you see the truth, that it is healthy and good and right to love yourself, you can't unsee it. Nothing can stop your process.
You're going to end up thinking you're really something one of these days! 😘