• cocodensmore

Merry FUCKING Christmas!

***Adult Themes***


December 24, 2021 Conversation With a Friend

Friend


Your writings are nice and connect with many of us out there. The likes are building girl! Your name will be known. One of my friends checked out your blog and she thinks it’s awesome!


Off to bed. Busy as fuck. Got home today after a four-day stint and back tomorrow on a two-day. Sleep well.


Me


I sent him one of my favorite naked hanging breast pictures just for fun with the comment, “Maybe that will slow you down for a couple minutes,” plus a Grinning Face emoji.


Friend


Slow down! Hell, I’ve been at a full stop for a couple of minutes, now!


Friend (later)


Still reeling at those breasts. You’re still hiding other good stuff in that pic. Nice looking woman ;-)


Me


Do you think I'll ever get FUCKED really good again? Like with a cock inside my hot wet cunt that needs FUCKED on a regular basis and isn't getting it???!!!


Friend


Thought there was a bevy of young guys servicing ya. Sorry to hear that.


Plenty of older guys but seeing how we peak early, testosterone becomes a commodity. Now looking for ways to increase hardon quality, embarrassed to go to doctor, anxiety for maybe not performing like a Cheeto hard-penised teen.


Had a bad experience being chastised by a woman my age for being defective or not being turned on, being told if you can't fuck me super hard, I'll just get someone who can, which in turn creates overwhelming anxiety and a turn to porn… Welcome to a man's 50+ journey.


Hang in there! You have the humor and the looks to get the guys.


Me


Your journey, that you felt comfortable sharing with me here, is the majority of my experience with men in their 50s. There are far more men struggling as you are than men that don’t struggle. That’s why it’s easy to go with the younger men. They can be vapid and empty and sometimes really naïve. But they’re also sweet and fresh and malleable and charming and attentive.


But it’s not the ED that makes middle aged sex so incredibly difficult. To believe it’s the ED is to miss the point entirely. Sweet and fresh and malleable and charming and attentive still live inside our bad middle-aged selves! What a miracle it would be if people our age could come together and just release all of the baggage and all of the bullshit and bring our 20-year-old selves to the game and have some fucking fun! And a hard cock is such an incredibly minuscule component of that.


Since I connected with you on that ridiculous alternate universe called Tinder, you have made me feel validated and sexy and good about myself. We’ve never met, and we may never meet. And yet you have had a significant piece in restoring my belief in myself and my sexuality and my sensuality. It’s men like you that allow me to get hold of the notion that I will experience full freedom of physical expression again - with someone worthy of sharing it.


So let that be your gift; let that be a thing you can embrace today. Know that you make a difference. You. Not your cock. You, the whole of you.


And that woman that said those things to you, she is really really stupid! My god, we humans sure know how to compound our own suffering and self-hate by clawing at innocent people and attempting to pull them down into hell with us. Reject that!


And go to the doctor! Fuck your pride! Do what you need to do for you, care enough about you to never give up on achieving full quality of life. You’re worth the fight. We all are. We may not be able to restore youthful function but fighting for ourselves makes us the best people we can be. The victory is in perseverance and the satisfaction is in knowing we believe we’re worth our own best efforts at salvation.


I don’t care about your dick. Fuck me with your hands, your mouth, tell me I’m beautiful! Kiss my neck. Whisper in my ear how hot I am. Voraciously suck and nuzzle my breasts, as if I were your very source of life. Work my body, work my mind, work my soul, make me feel good about all of who I am. And graciously receive the same from me. Let us worship one another. Together, we will experience The Divine.


Sex is the most life affirming thing any of us will ever experience. If we can’t bring all the joy and exuberance and positivity to that most incredible and deserving of all human experiences, we don’t deserve to connect at all. You know that joy and exuberance and positivity don’t live in a hard cock! They live in our minds and words and the caring caress of our partner. They’re the sure and certain result of focusing, listening, and honoring one other. Those are the ingredients of meaningful, joyful, memorable, and transforming sexual connection. Anything less and my time is better spent watching a fucking Hallmark movie with mom.


Frankly, I've thought about it, pondered on it, and assumed we'd never meet because of the herpes. I thought you were being really nice and fun and sweet and encouraging, but I didn't think you were ever interested in actually meeting in real life. I'm complicated. I have issues, so many issues. And my body is diseased, scarred, saggy, and add about 58 more self-deprecating adjectives. But OMG, that is not all of who I am!


The whole of us, the whole of any of us and all of us, has nothing to do with the sum of the parts. We’re magnificent! If I can know that, if I can actually arrive at that truth, anyone can. Because I’ve risen from the lowest of lows, the very bottom, but I did it. I got it. I get it. Just in time, too.


Well, OK. So, the last hour, since I read and responded to your email while still in bed, has been full of epiphanies. Joyful epiphanies. Little miracles. And some other very interesting stuff, too! And I am not manic!


I got up and came downstairs to assess the situation and begin Christmas meal prep. I took the Sara Lee pumpkin pie out of the refrigerator and read the directions, started the oven on 375, then took the pie out of the cardboard box.


RUINED!


My sister-in-law took it out of the freezer two days ago exclaiming, "It has to thaw out before you cook it!" I questioned that premise in my mind, but what do I know? Come to find out, it is supposed to stay frozen. It had turned to liquid.


RUINED.


Had to throw it out. And I cried! Ten minutes ago, I was crying over a stupid pumpkin pie!


In a single hour, coming to the serendipitous realization I might actually experience meaningful, fulfilling, whole body, whole mind sex once again – followed immediately by the incredible soul level loss of ruined pumpkin pie – smacked right up against each other!


ED, genital herpes, and ruined pumpkin pie. Contrast those life tragedies against the indomitable goodness of noble individuals the likes of us, with a persistent compelling desire to show up and bring our best to that ultimate of human connections! A microcosm of the whole of human experience right there!


Merry FUCKING Christmas!





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