November 1, 2018
I’ve slept most of the last couple of days, since I got home from Springfield. All I have on my list of things to do are some phone calls, reschedule some appointments. And buy some necessities at Kroger. At this point, nothing else planned for weeks. Nothing to look forward to. No goals to strive toward. No purpose. No motivation.
I did email Jeff yesterday. All I said is “I love you, Jeff”. It seemed so appropriate at that moment. Now I think how ridiculously futile, and likely so unappreciated on his part. I’m sure he hates me. I ruined his fucking life.
Today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo. I haven’t worked on the new book yet. I started it a couple of weeks ago. Empowered Online Dating. But I’m not sure if that’s the book I will write. Perhaps I should try some strictly fiction. Not sure I can write strictly fiction. Or maybe I can turn the book into fiction. With a heroine. Who online dates. And finds her happy ending.
Or, this just flashed through, maybe I could write about a couple that have been married three decades. A couple with intimacy issues. And the man has an affair. And the mistress tells the wife. And they survive it. And they’re better because of it. With a happy ending.
And maybe a parallel story line for the mistress. Maybe with a happy ending. Do mistresses ever have happy endings? Affairs always end. Often badly. No. Mistresses do not have happy endings. Not in real life. Unless you think no longer being involved in an affair is a happy ending. Actually, it is. It just doesn’t feel happy. Not for a very long time anyway.