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I’VE WORKED SO FUCKING HARD.

February 23, 2023


We matched on Hinge. HA! You silly naysayers! Told ya online dating works! But still, it does take a lot of things to be just so, ever so perfectly aligned, for things to come together. It’s a miracle when things do come together. But it does happen.


It’s a numbers game. Online dating is not a pursuit for the faint of heart. You have to be open and stay open, through all the gut-wrenching fits and starts. You must stay strong as you weather the inevitable disappointments. They are legion, no getting around it. But with the right attitude, you’ll end up with some wonderful supportive and enduring friendships. And if you keep at it, if you Persevere, you’re very likely to find your fellow.


The Universe really does reward those who work very hard to get well, emotionally and mentally well. I’VE WORKED SO FUCKING HARD. Decades of therapy. Writing writing writing writing, getting it all out, getting it all down so I could see where the pain was, so I could know where I needed to dive in and root out the ugliness written on my soul from childhood abuse. The ugliness within my deepest self I held fast to, because I thought I was supposed to. It was part of my identity. I was unable to love and accept myself for a great deal of my life. Finally, I’ve gotten hold of some peace. I held fast to Hope, and she has not disappointed.


Am I “there”? Nope, not even close. But I’m closer than I’ve ever been.

Photo by José León on Unsplash

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