September 10, 2018 Journal Entry
Still binge watching Sex and the City. Miranda is on a date with a trainer from the gym. In typical style, Miranda thinks he’s out of her league, and behaves correspondingly deferential. He has a great time on the date, remarking he hopes he didn’t talk too much because Miranda hasn’t said much. He tells her she’s sexy. She covers her face and laughs behind her hand, not intending on appearing demure, but appearing so just the same. He kisses her.
She has time to let the fact she’s sexy sink in. On the second date, she’s strong, confident, outgoing, and feels fabulous and full of her fullness. Her date is put off, no longer attracted to her.
So here’s the deal. Am I so attractive because I don’t think I’m attractive? Am I so “sexy” because I can’t for the life of me imagine why anyone would think I was sexy??? I decided I’m sticking with humble, with the occasional self-deprecating humor, although I know I know I’ve got to reign that in a bit… Humble is more comfortable, and why would I abandon an attitude that results in a clear and consistent payoff?
All facetiousness aside, I think the combination of confidence balanced with unpretentiousness is what appeals. I know I’m smart and I know I’m funny. I know those truths through and through. That combination of personality traits in anyone is attractive.
I get winning people over with my bold and exceedingly witty personality, because that’s my life’s constant. I excel in developing strong, significant, and enduring relationships, both personally and professionally. In fact, relationship building is largely that to which I contribute my career success. But the sex thing? It’s just too fucking weird. Like I always say, I’m just trying and trying and trying to go with it… Regardless, I’m most definitely having the time of my life!