September 5, 2021 Email to Jeff
I’m falling in love again. That's how it feels. Nothing will come of it, we're friends. But when I have these feelings, they make me think and wonder and ask the question "why". Because this love once again seems to be based on who this man is as a father.
I don’t think I’m looking for a father, I thought that before about you, but I don’t think that’s what it is. I think I’m looking for men that can prove to me they do value women and they do value their roles as fathers. Somehow that’s very restorative for me to know.
So, I don’t think I fall in love with good fathers because I want them to be my father. I think I fall in love with good fathers because they are good men. And that is why I fell in love with you. Once I found out the truth about your family, I fell in love with you. And it was because you are a good man.
And usually this is my cue to talk about how horrible I am for doing what I did and how stupid we were to have the affair. And all of that is absolutely true. But there’s this core piece of it that will never go away. And that is that at your center, at the very core of your heart, is an incredible commitment to your children. And that is the part of you that makes you Incredible.
I should make five new email addresses and send this to you, so I know this message gets to you before you have a chance to block it! But I put the message out and if I’m blocked, I’m blocked. I put the message out into the universe and hopefully you will receive it.
You deserve love you deserve to be honored you deserve to be cherished. You are one of the best men I have ever met. I am so thankful for you I will never be able to express how thankful I am. You made me better.
Have a good week. Be well my friend be well be well be well.
Coco
Photo by Katie Gerrard on Unsplash