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Genital Herpes is NOT a death sentence. Quit thinking that!

July 10, 2023


It always amazes me, although it shouldn’t, the fact I have genital herpes is not a deterrent for most men. I cannot believe how most of us, when we get our herpes diagnosis, hate on ourselves and think our life is over. It is absolutely not. Herpes is absolutely positively not a death sentence.


There have been a couple of men that have decided not to continue communication, but they handled it with kindness. And I have to support anyone’s decision not to proceed when they know there is a 1% (YES! ONLY 1%) chance of transmission given the fact I take anti-virals and use condoms.


I don’t think I’m unusual. Well, I am, but I’m not so special that potential partners would opt to continue with me just because I’m hot with a great personality. (I’m not hot. But I do have a great personality.) Give me a break. That’s not it. I think it’s that the men I match with are (1) DTF, (2) follow my directive to read A Completely Boring Herpes Educational Blog Post That You Should Absolutely Read Anyway, (3) intelligent, and (4) kind.


I had this conversation this morning with a (very) young man I matched with in 2021. For whatever reason we stopped chatting, but he texted me this morning. I reminded him I am 60 years old and I weigh 340 pounds. Thank God for the wide range of sexual preferences because to him, those are positives. It was lovely to reconnect. I have no idea at this point if we’ll meet. But it is lovely to have this online connection.


Some of you may be disgusted by the fact this man is seeking sex, but I consider that a bonus positive. He’s much younger, so there isn’t a potential for a long-term romantic relationship. And that’s by my choice. This would be a friendship with a sexual component. Why is that OK? Because, my dear reader, I am DTF as well.


Here’s our conversation:


Me:


I do remember chatting with you quite extensively. I remember your kind happy face.


Man:


Well, I am thankful that you remember me! I just checked back on my Tinder convos and came across ours. It was shortly before we switched to text and one of the last things you sent me before your number was a promise you were going to send me nasty pics.


Me:


Oh ya? So, the fact I have genital herpes is not a deterrent? Because there is a 1% chance of transmission based on the fact I do take anti-virals on a daily basis and I am a condom Nazi.


I fully support any decision you make because I think it’s very very important people take their sexual health seriously. Plus, I know you won’t slut shame me because you’re a good guy.


There’s also sex without penile penetration but it’s really hard not to have penile penetration when you get going, as I’m sure you are aware.


Man:


It is not a deterrent for me, no. I thank you for your honesty! I really like that.


Condom Nazi, huh? LOL.


I would absolutely not slut shame you! Never will I do that! I respect you!


It is really hard when you get going! I would let you have your way with me and do what you want with me with zero judgment. I would just be in heaven in the moment.

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