Last night, I decided I was going to do a Ben Franklin on Don. I decided right before I fell asleep. Throughout the night, every time I woke up, I thought of things for the Pro column, and I finally thought of so many things, I had to get up before my alarm went off this morning and start the list.
I’ve listed these in no particular order, just as his sweet face comes into focus in my mind’s eye, and I think of the lovely things about him I've noticed just spending the little bit of time I’ve spent with him in the little bit of time I've known him.
He’s the kindest man I’ve ever met.
His children are his first priority, and he builds his life around that principle.
He’s devoted to his career, and successful and well-respected in his work.
He is incapable of manipulation.
When you ask him a question, you get a direct, specific, concise, transparent, and completely honest answer.
He knows about interesting but obscure things – like why microwaves are bad for you.
He makes strawberry rhubarb pie, from scratch. It would never occur to him to use frozen crust. I don’t know another man, perhaps even another person, who knows what rhubarb is, let alone has eaten it.
He can name which types of pies are supposed to have lattice crusts and he even knows about this thing called diamond lattice.
When he gets annoyed, which is rare, although I do have special powers to elicit that reaction in him, he doesn’t get super annoyed. And then he doesn’t stay annoyed very long.
I’ve never seen him angry. I don’t know if he even gets angry. He can get annoyed, though.
When you ask him what he wants, like seriously, as in what he wants out of life, he responds, “I want to be happy.” (This is a Pro because my response to that question would be a pages long, hour plus read. Probably with bullet points, perhaps even an indented numbering scheme, and tables with weighting factors.)
Watching him engage in his passions is fascinating. It gives me great joy to see into that part of him. It makes me happy.
He doesn’t stew on things. He’s introspective but doesn’t waste time ruminating on things over which he has little or no control. In other words, of course he worries, but not all the time and he doesn’t allow it to overly negatively affect his life (like I do, like most people do).
He has a rich rich rich inner world.
His travel stories are riveting and accompanied by fascinating pictures.
The things he does to regulate, to soothe and renew himself in his downtime, are really bizarre to me. And because they are bizarre, he intrigues me no end.
He’s super smart. Mensa smart. (Which should probably also go in the Con section, because his intelligence is a bit intimidating. But that’s my insecurity, and not about him. And this Ben Franklin is about him.)
He likes sex and he’s fun to fuck.
He knows about fat girls and fat girl logistics.
He keeps his hair short. So short it sticks up in some places. When I asked him why he likes it so short, he said, “I don’t know. I like it short.” Attention to grooming is something I really appreciate, so it’s a big pro and also endearing as fuck.
He’s clean shaven. If he forgets to shave, he notices it and mentions it. But I don’t want him to shave when I’m there, because it wastes time I get to sit next to him, hold his hand, and listen to his stories. (A lit bit of stubble is well worth the tradeoff.)
His apartment is clean. I never have to question the potential health department rating of the toilet, the kitchen sink, or the refrigerator.
His refrigerator is pretty empty, but his freezer is chock-full of ice cream. (Not a Pro, per se, just incredibly endearing.)
When I need toilet paper, he comes and gets it for me instead of explaining where it is and letting me fend for myself.
When I ask him to turn the volume down on the TV, he just does it.
When I ask what it's like to have Asperger's, he tells me. When I ask him more specific questions, he explains in more detail. He never gets annoyed with me for asking, he never resents having to explain. He just does it.
I’ll keep adding. I need to make myself breakfast. That’s how important this list was. I waited to eat. (If you know me, you know that’s BIG.)
I can’t read him. (Does that belong on his Ben Franklin or mine?)
[Initial publication 6/7/2022.]