July 21, 2018 Email to Jeff
Jeff, I can always deal with honesty. Why did you wait so long sometimes to be honest with me? I might have been disappointed but not as disappointed as I was to realize you avoided telling me the truth. Why did you do that? Were you afraid of me? Of what I would do? Do you not know I would rather cease to be than hurt you? Do you not know that seeing who you are as a father restored my faith in men?
That's the crux of it really. That's why I love you So Big. Because you woke me up and made me understand how much I love men. You opened up my world. I was rebirthed by your attention. You wanted me. I came alive.
I wish with all my heart you knew my heart. I love every bit of you. The good and the bad and everything in between. There's nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you. Because you are not capable of doing anything that would make me stop loving you.
You were never my lover first. You were always first the evidence of what a father can be. What a father can achieve. And only by being who you are, and being present. Consistently always present. That is all you have to be. The miracle of you, present, is all you have to be.
Look at your daughters. Each is becoming all she can be. Each is achieving her potential. That's because of you. Who you are. You are a miracle in many women's lives. There would be a hole so big if you were not in this world.
I can never express my gratefulness for having had you in my life. It is my greatest hope you will look in the mirror, know you are loved, and see you're Incredible.
Selfishly, I miss you in my life. But above all, I want you to live and live happily. I want you to gift your women with the greatest gift, the gift of you.
Another beautiful love letter inspired by my hero. You are my hero. Take you off your pedestal? Never. Not ever. I owe you my life. You saved me over and over.
Jeff, I see you. I see your truth. And in spite of everything, I love you. First, Most, Best, and Always.