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  • Writer's picturecocodensmore


October 18, 2021

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I’m smiling. We spent so much time wishing we had lived our lives differently when we lived our lives exactly the way we were supposed to, given the information that we had at that moment in time. We lived our lives exactly the way we were supposed to, based on who we were at that moment in time. And the reason why we made those “mistakes” was to get us to the place where we are now which is a better place. We’re smarter. We’re better. The bad things make us better.

I am reading this book called Conversations With God and I must say once again, if you read the book called Conversations With God, it will change your life. God says there is no good or bad, there are no “mistakes”; there is only an event or action and the meaning we attach to it.

A mistake is not a mistake in God’s eyes. And it should not be a mistake in our eyes. There are no mistakes. There are no coincidences. We are constantly creating our best selves every moment, and what we perceive as mistakes are events that allow us to make positive changes in ways not possible had we never made those choices. I’ve said over and over about the affair – I learned things from Jeff about myself and about who I am and about who I want to be that I never would have learned any other way from any other person.

Getting involved with Jeff was the biggest grandest most destructive mistake I’ve made in my entire life. And it’s changed me into a person I could never have been otherwise. And I have become a better person than I ever thought possible. And I’m changing myself and the world in ways I never dreamed. So, when I’m not kicking myself and hating myself for being a whore slut homewrecker, which is less and less and less as time goes by, I recognize that “mistake” in having that affair with Jeff was the best thing that ever happened. It was the best bad choice I ever made.

Regrets truly truly truly are a waste of time. All we can do is learn what we are supposed to learn and move forward. I guarantee, and I’m sorry to tell you this, but I can guarantee this is not the last time you will make the same mistake. We’re human, we’re sexual, and we are physically designed to respond instinctively to strong sexual chemistry and attraction. That doesn’t mean we can’t override that human response with thinking choice. But it does mean we often succumb to passion without even realizing what we’ve done. And then, after a time, we realize that passion and sexual attraction are not love. That he is not the right person for us, and that we are not being treated as the worthy valuable individuals we truly are. Is it a “mistake” to act on passion – hastily without thinking it through, or even deliberately? Nope. It’s human.

Eventually you will stop making this same mistake. Particularly if you don’t see it as a mistake because it is not. It is you growing and changing and maturing and become your best self every moment of your life.

There is no one in the universe, there is no one that loves you, there is no one that is standing around waiting for you to make a “mistake” so they can hurt you or destroy you. There is no one that is waiting for you to “fail” (another false construct of the mind) so they can take pleasure in it or punish you for it. And even if there were, the only power others have over you is the power you allow them to have over you. You own that choice.

Therefore, and unfortunately, the only person vested in condemning and destroying you for your “mistakes”, is you. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT.

“People should not judge failed love affairs as failed experiences, but as part of the growth process. Something does not have to end well for it to have been one of the most valuable experiences of a lifetime.”

-Ethel Person



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